My Dad’s Fiancée Has The Audacity To Stole My Son’s First Santa Visit From Us – And It’s Ruining The Whole Holidays

 

I still remember the exact moment I realized the holiday was no longer ours to enjoy. It started as a quiet, ordinary Thursday, the kind that usually hums along with routine. My husband and I had been planning our son’s first Santa visit for weeks, mapping out the weekend in tiny, eager details. I imagined him in a soft little outfit, his eyes wide and round with wonder, pointing at the red-suited man as he gingerly held his hands together and whispered “hello.” I pictured the photos—our family, small and tight, smiling at the camera—and the joy that would wrap our small living room in warmth. For an 8-month-old, none of this mattered yet, but for us, it was everything. That first holiday milestone, that first glimpse of magic through a child’s eyes, was ours to savor. Or so I thought.

Thursday, though, had other plans. I had a business meeting that morning, a critical one, and my husband was out as well, tied up in his own work responsibilities. So my dad and his fiancée had come over to keep an eye on our son for a few hours. I always trusted my dad, and in his presence, I never expected anything to go wrong. They were there, chatting amiably, and I mentioned our weekend plans almost casually, explaining how we were going to take our little boy to the mall to meet Santa. It was just information, a statement of anticipation, and I expected nothing more than polite interest.

What I got instead was betrayal. Later that evening, my dad’s fiancée, smiling and holding my son, showed me pictures on her phone. There he was, tiny legs dangling, wrapped in a winter sweater, sitting on Santa’s lap. And she was in every single frame. Not just in the background, but positioned so the pictures looked as if the moment belonged to her. My chest tightened, my stomach turned. My plans, our plans, had been stolen. I didn’t even have a single photo of my son on his own—or with us. All of the joy I had imagined, all of the first memories I had been saving in my mind, had been hijacked.

Her explanation was casual, almost breezy, as if the entire ordeal were insignificant. “Your dad wanted to take a nap,” she said, shrugging her shoulders like she hadn’t just crossed a line I didn’t want her anywhere near. “So I took him out for a stroll. The mall was right there, and the Christmas display looked perfect. I thought he’d enjoy it.” Her tone suggested innocence, a playful sense of mischief, but there was nothing innocent in what she had done. This wasn’t a spontaneous outing; it was a calculated act that disregarded both our plans and our boundaries.

I was stunned. My dad? Asleep. Complacent. Silent. If he had really been watching, he would have stopped her. But he didn’t. And when I tried to confront the fiancée, she blinked at me in mock confusion, as though she had no idea why I would be upset. “I didn’t realize it was such a big deal,” she said. “I just wanted to have some fun with the baby.” The words floated in the air, empty and dismissive. I had no words at first. The sense of violation wrapped around me like a dense, heavy fog. This wasn’t just about a Santa visit. This was about control, about respect, about my role as a parent being entirely ignored by someone who had no right to interfere.

I grabbed my son and told them both to leave. There was a quiet tension, a stillness that settled around the room like dust. My husband was furious as well, his anger simmering behind clenched teeth. Together, we decided—after only a few minutes of discussion—that we wouldn’t be attending the Christmas party at my dad’s house this year. There was no space for celebration in a home where my son’s milestones could be stolen at whim. The thought of sitting across from her, pretending nothing had happened, was unbearable. We would create our own holiday traditions, ones she could not intrude upon.

Over the weekend, it became official. Word spread through the family, and several relatives made it clear they wouldn’t attend if we didn’t. My dad called, begging, trying to convince me to change my mind. But I couldn’t. There were over a month left before Christmas, but the damage was done. The first experience, the first moment of joy, had already been taken. And while I wanted peace, I could not compromise my son’s first holiday memory—or my authority as his parent—to smooth over someone else’s self-centered whims.

I kept thinking about her pattern of behavior. This wasn’t the first time she had tried to take control of moments that didn’t belong to her. The social media posts about my pregnancy, the announcements made before we had the chance, the way she had manipulated the timeline of wedding plans during family events—all of it pointed to the same truth: she prioritized her image, her control, her need to be at the center of attention, over the feelings of those closest to her. My dad, the only one who seemed to see the world through a lens of trust and comfort, consistently enabled her behavior.

Her actions, I realized, were not about fun or spontaneity. They were about dominance and visibility. She wanted to be in the picture, quite literally, and she didn’t care who was displaced or hurt in the process. This understanding burned through me with clarity. I wasn’t upset because of Santa. I was angry because someone had intentionally undermined our family, disrespected the boundaries we had established, and treated my child as an accessory for her own satisfaction. That was unforgivable.

Even the casual dismissal from my dad stung. He called my reaction dramatic, telling me I was overreacting. I held my son close, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his small body pressed to mine, and I realized that no one else’s opinion mattered. Not my dad’s, not my fiancée’s, not the relatives trying to mediate. The decision was mine and my husband’s alone, and it would shape how our son experienced the holidays—and how he would know who truly protected him.

I thought about the boundaries I had once considered flexible. They were not flexible. They were the framework of my family’s safety, the rules that distinguished care from intrusion, love from control. When she ignored them, she had crossed more than a line. She had signaled that her desires outweighed the rights of a parent, that she could seize moments that weren’t hers to take, and that she could manipulate situations to suit herself without consequence.

My husband and I discussed options, but the choice was clear. We would not attend the party. We would not place our son in a situation where he could be used as a prop or where the first memory of a joyful holiday experience could be replaced with someone else’s narrative. We would take him to the mall another time, with photographs that we controlled, moments that belonged solely to us. It wouldn’t erase what had happened, but it would reclaim our agency, our family, our traditions.

The more I reflected, the more I realized how early these patterns had begun to emerge in our family dynamic. My dad’s fiancée was always at the center, whether through social media or in-person dominance, and he, for all his good intentions, had been complicit. The holidays, once a sanctuary of shared love and collective joy, had become a theater for her whims. And now, she had intruded on the very first Christmas milestone of my child, a moment that should have been ours to savor quietly and fully.

Extended family opinions were a blur. Some sympathized, some took sides, but ultimately, it was not their decision. Their perspectives were irrelevant because the stakes were my child’s experience, my family’s integrity, and my right as a parent to establish moments and memories without interference. The reality was stark: I could not rely on my father, not when he had allowed this to happen, and I could not invite further frustration or disappointment into my son’s life by attending a party designed to elevate someone else at our expense.

I think back to the day she showed me the photos, the smug expression she wore as if she had achieved some personal victory. My son’s face, wide-eyed and innocent, captured forever in an image that she controlled. It was the catalyst for a decision I had known was coming but had hoped to delay. It was clear then that our holidays would need to be rewritten, our traditions reassessed, and our family boundaries strengthened. And as I sat with my husband, discussing the logistics and the feelings involved, I knew one thing for certain: this Christmas, the story of our family’s holiday would be told on our terms, not hers.

And so the decision was made. We would not attend the party. We would create a space for our son where the first magic of the season belonged to those who loved him unconditionally, those who understood the value of trust, respect, and presence. The rest, including my father and his fiancée, would have to understand the consequences of their choices, for this milestone was ours, and no one else could claim it.

The holidays were still a month away, and there were still countless details to plan, traditions to craft, and memories to safeguard. But I held to one certainty: the Santa visit, the first of many cherished moments, would belong to us, protected by the decisions my husband and I had made, and untouchable by the selfish whims of others.

The photographs she had taken would not define our story. Our story would be written in our home, by our hands, filled with the laughter, warmth, and intention that she had tried to steal. And as I thought about the path forward, I realized that establishing these boundaries now, even at the cost of disappointment or conflict, was essential. For our child, for our family, and for the kind of Christmas that truly mattered.

We would celebrate on our own terms, and that was not negotiable. Little did I know, she would be one step ahead…

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Am I the a-hole for backing out of my dad’s Christmas party after his fiance took my baby to meet Santa behind my back? I live a 5-minute walk away from a mall and they opened up their Christmas display a few days ago.

 My husband and I were planning on taking our son, who is 8 months old, there for his first Santa visit this past Saturday. My dad’s fiance is a very self-centered person. Most recently, she tried to post about my pregnancy on social media before I did and confirmed their wedding date, which has since been changed twice at my sister’s birthday party.

 I’m not fond of her, but she’s not usually too hard to tolerate. Now, my immediate paternal family gets together for a small party every year on Christmas Eve. This time, my dad and his fiance are hosting. I was going to attend it with my husband and our son. However, last Thursday, I had a business meeting while my husband was also at work.

 My dad and his fiance came over to babysit. I spent some time chatting with them before leaving and I mentioned our weekend plans, including how we were taking our baby to see Santa. When I got home, my dad’s fianceé showed me pictures of herself with my baby and the mall Santa. I don’t even have pictures of just my son. She’s in all of them.

 She explained my dad had wanted to take a nap. So, she took my son out on a stroll. She went to the mall, saw the Christmas display, and couldn’t resist taking my son there herself. Let me make this clear. I am not too much of a Christmas person, and neither is my husband, but she was well aware we were looking forward to doing this with our son.

I’m also upset that my dad napped while babysitting because we wouldn’t have had them watch our baby if we knew it would ultimately just be her. and I never gave either of them permission to remove my child from my place while babysitting. I confronted her and said we wanted to take him ourselves, but she acted confused and claimed she didn’t realize it was such a big deal and just wanted to have some fun with the baby.

 My dad also dismissed my feelings and said I was being dramatic. I grabbed my son and told them to leave. My husband was as upset as I was. We decided we wouldn’t attend the Christmas party anymore. We’ll figure out something else, but we don’t want to spend our baby’s first Christmas with her.

 We made it official over the weekend. A lot of my family has replied that they’re not coming if I don’t. So now my dad is begging me to change my mind. There’s still over a month left before Christmas, and I want to sort this out as soon as possible. I don’t want to attend, but I also don’t want to ruin the party. Am I the a-hole? No, OP.

 You’re not the a-hole, and you’re not responsible for their party. you don’t want to attend because of very clear circumstances that apply to you, your husband, and your son, not everybody else that decided not to go. Maybe people were just looking for an excuse not to spend Christmas with either of them or one of them. I don’t know.

 And personally, I kind of think that Christmas party is ruined anyways because the cat’s out of the bag. They just don’t want to spend time with your dad and his fianceé. Honestly, Opie, if you and your husband are on the same page that you guys don’t want to go to the party, don’t go to the party. Tell your dad to stop it and he’s the one that needs to figure out how he’s going to get people to go to his house.

 Not your problem, OP, not the a-hole. And what do you guys think? Let me know in the comments section. And now, let’s check out the community comments. McMur says, “She should have asked your permission to take your baby anywhere outside the house. She knew full well what she was doing. Was this to show off and post for her?” I don’t blame you.

Still do it anyway with the Santa picture with the family. Don’t let her steal that from you. Stick to it about not going. This needs to send a clear message to your father. He is trying to smooth this over. JRM 1102 says, “Not the a-hole. I think it’s very concerning that she took your young baby somewhere very public while your dad napped without your knowledge.

But don’t stress too much about Santa. Obviously, she’s an a-hole for that, too. But your kid won’t remember at all. Just pretend this is the first time. Odd end 1405 says, “What is there to sort out? If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Other people’s actions and reactions are not your responsibility.

 A party you’re not attending’s success or failure is not in your power.” Think about what you’re saying here. Does the earth revolve around you? Of course not. Your father is just trying to guilt you. Your father chose to not only betray your trust in sleeping while watching your child, but also put your feelings as a parent below that of his sex partner.

 Why would you give him access to your child when he allowed this to occur and doubled down on it? I would be way more upset about the fact that a person you did not entrust your child with took your child without your permission. This is a huge safety risk. Go or not, but do what you and your husband want to do. This is your first holiday where your child is a bit more with it. Enjoy it.

 Start your own traditions, not the ahol in any way. And Corod said, “OMG, she’s a self-absorbed, titled piece of work. You are not the a-hole, and frankly, I’d never bring my kid near her again. Sorry, Dad. Your fiance is not even welcome to our home anymore.” Additional information from Opie’s comments. First, about my dad’s fiance.

She has this habit of acting like she’s very sweet and innocent, but it’s mostly an act. My dad is the only one who genuinely buys it. My husband caught her writing the caption to post my pregnancy announcement before I did. She also has a history of making every family event revolve around herself, which is one of the reasons I’ve always kept her at arms length.

 And no, she isn’t my son’s grandmother. Marrying my dad doesn’t magically make her family. We all call her by her first name, and that’s not going to change. Several people asked whether this could have been a misunderstanding. No, she knew exactly what she was doing. She heard me say very clearly that my husband and I were excited to take our baby to see Santa that weekend.

 This wasn’t her trying to help. It was her hearing our plan and deciding it would be cute to do it herself. That’s her pattern. She takes over moments that don’t belong to her and then acts surprise when anyone is upset. A lot of people asked why my dad didn’t intervene. Honestly, because he naps like it’s a sport.

 Him falling asleep that long isn’t unusual, but I didn’t expect it while babysitting. The issue is that I asked my dad to babysit. She wasn’t supposed to be the one making decisions. I’m absolutely done trusting either of them with my child. They will never babysit again. I don’t need to gamble my kids safety or milestones on someone who treats boundaries like suggestions.

Some context. I don’t live in the US. We don’t have Thanksgiving and Halloween isn’t a big deal here. Malls start Christmas displays ridiculously early. Seeing Santa in November isn’t strange at all. But that doesn’t make it less of a boundary stop when she knew it was something we were planning for our son.

As for my extended family, they know why I’m not going to the Christmas Eve party. They’ve seen this behavior from her before. So, none of this surprised them. Some said they wouldn’t go without us, but I don’t actually care what they decide. I can still see everyone before and after Christmas.

 Missing one evening doesn’t ruin anything for me. And for the people who keep insisting I should move on because my son won’t remember it, yes, he won’t. I will. I didn’t want this woman taking him out without permission. And I definitely didn’t want her taking one of his firsts. Even if we take him again, that doesn’t undo the fact that she hijacked something we were excited to do with our own child.

 Now, to be clear, I’m not cutting ties with my dad. I’m just setting a boundary that neither of them gets to be alone with my son again. And I don’t want to spend Christmas Eve with someone who clearly enjoys inserting herself into moments that aren’t hers. That’s it. All right. Well, the community agrees OP is not the a-hole and that she should stay firm on this boundary.

 And it sounds like that’s exactly what OP will do. So, now let’s move on to the update to see how this story ends. A little under two weeks after my first post, my husband and I took our baby to a different mall and visited Santa there. Their display wasn’t as big as the one from the mall near our place, but it was more colorful and they had a nicer tree.

 We explored the area with our son afterwards, and I came very close to tears watching the way he reacted to everything. We also took the opportunity to get some Christmas shopping and charity stuff done. Overall, we had a wonderful day. It didn’t make either of us forget what happened, but I’ll cherish these memories forever. In other news, out of the 15 people who had been invited to the party, not including my son, only four are still attending.

 Two people from my paternal family and two from my dad’s fiance’s. The only two she invited. My relatives who didn’t back out of the party are my dad’s cousin who is visiting from a different country and staying at his place and my grandmother who doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on. I want to stress that getting my family members involved wasn’t my intention.

I told both my cousins what happened because we plan secret Santa for the party every year. That’s where the news spread from. There was also a weird domino effect going on with different parts of the family. I’m not coming, so neither are my parents type stuff, which contributed to the amount of people who backed out.

 Communication with my dad has been complicated. He’s blaming his fiance for causing the problem, but also me for being emotional and ruining everything. The first time we tried to talk, he made a very offensive comment I couldn’t overlook and then accused me of being dramatic over that, too. Our second conversation was better, but still didn’t solve much.

 I was ready to call it quits and accept we’d never agree on this, but my dad called me a few days ago with his fiance. She didn’t really apologize. Instead, she reiterated she just wanted to do something fun and didn’t think it would be a big deal, but didn’t mean to upset me. Knowing her, I didn’t buy any of that.

 I told her there were numerous things she could have done that weren’t the one thing she knew I was already planning on doing with my child and didn’t require moving him from my place without permission. There was no way she hadn’t realized it was important to me. She just didn’t care. She tried denying it at first, but she couldn’t give me a better explanation.

After a few minutes, she started crying and said, “You get to have a special moment with this baby every day. Why can’t I take an hour?” That led to another small argument. In the end, I told them, “I don’t know what they thought would happen with that call. I’m not going to their Christmas party, and neither of them will ever babysit my son or any other child I might have in the future again.

” My dad has since apologized specifically for the phone call, but I don’t care anymore. I’m done losing hair over this and I’m done being treated like my feelings, boundaries, and authority as my child’s mother don’t matter. I’m not cutting ties with my dad, but I’ll do whatever I can to make sure nothing like this happens again, and I like the information diet idea some of you suggested.

 I definitely feel no need to share any news about my son with my dad’s fianceé. As for the holidays, my eldest cousin is throwing a small party at her place on Christmas Eve, which mostly everyone who backed out of my dad’s party is attending. On Christmas Day, we’ll visit my in-laws and then return home to relax with our baby and play video games.

Next year, we’re traveling out of state to see my maternal family and go to the beach. This has been a very chaotic month, and I have no desire to waste more energy on this, so I probably won’t update again. I’m not 100% satisfied with how everything worked out, but I’m glad the situation’s been mostly dealt with, and this might actually be the most excited I’ve been about Christmas in a while.

 Thank you, and happy holidays. Well, be it sounds to me like you guys made the right choices, so there’s actually not much more to say. Congratulations, and here’s wishing you guys the best. Take care and thanks for sharing. And now, let’s move on to the next post that also has an update. This post is from the subreddit am I the a-hole and it’s by user deleted.

 Am I the a-hole for not firing the cleaning lady because my girlfriend asked me to. Throwaway account. This is a dumb argument, but I need people to weigh in. I, male 42, have a cleaning lady who comes every other week. She’s super hardworking, really nice, and I completely trust her. She comes while I am at work, and I get to come home to a clean house. The best feeling.

 One time she told me she drank a can of soda from my fridge and even asked if she could pay me back. I told her she 100% has my permission to take a break and eat and drink whatever she needs while she’s here. Since then, she’ll occasionally have a soda, a glass of juice, or once she said she had a piece of toast.

 She’s never helped herself to any meals, snacks, or anything beyond that. My girlfriend, female 38, was over the other night and said she saw my cleaning lady stealing from the fridge. I told her she wasn’t stealing. Lol. She has my permission and she’s definitely not sitting around being lazy. She was taking a break.

 My girlfriend said it’s weird, unprofessional, and that it could lead to boundary crossing. I told her I’ve known this woman for 2 years, and nothing like that has ever happened. Girlfriend thinks I should fire her before it gets worse. Am I wrong for thinking, why change something that’s been working perfectly fine? Am I being weird? No, Opie, you’re not being weird.

 Your girlfriend’s being weird. The cleaning lady and you have a perfectly professional business agreement and it seems to be working just fine. You’re happy with the service and she’s happy to keep working for you. So, everybody’s happy except your girlfriend who again is being weird. What is she talking about boundary crossing? If anything, she’s the one that’s boundary crossing by requesting that you fire her because she feels weird about it.

 Honestly, Obie, I don’t know how long you’ve been in this relationship you didn’t say, but this would still give me a little bit of pause and evaluate some things. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comment section. And now, let’s check out the community comments. Klutzy Contest 1640 says, “Not the a-hole.

 Your cleaning lady is following predetermined rules and is not taking advantage of you. As you said, she’s hardworking and doing what you agreed. Why mess with what’s not broken? Price Catz says, “My wife used to be that cleaning lady. Cleaning an entire house in a few hours is effing hard work. You’re a good human. Your girlfriend maybe not so much.

 Her mask seems to have slipped a bit. How people treat the help TM is telling.” And Opie responds, “It is hard and she has multiple clients a day. I don’t see how it is inappropriate to sit down and drink a glass of juice. It’s not like she stole my dinner. Butter my pancakes, please says, “My guess is your girlfriend is jealous or uncomfortable with the friendly dynamic you have with your housekeeper.

 If you cave on this, it’ll be a sign that she can define how you interact with others in your house.” Say you’re fine with the dynamic. And if she continues to push, explain that now she is crossing a boundary and want to know why she’s not respecting your preferences. And Opie responds, “The thing is I hardly ever see her.

 She comes when I’m at work and I send her the money online. E transfer when I get home.” La Pam 76 says, “Not the ael. Your girlfriend being judgy and rude or for whatever reason she feels somehow threatened by your cleaning lady. Ask your girlfriend directly. Just so I understand, you want me to fire a person for doing something I said was fine to do. Fire her right before the holidays.

Fire her after she has worked for me for 2 years, has done and continues to do a great job. Really? Is that how you think it is okay to treat people? Her answer will provide the answer for who is the a-hole in this situation. And background system 726 says, “Not the ahol. You have employed this woman for 2 years.

 You are happy with the current arrangement. You don’t feel any issue with the situation as it stands. I think some people might not be okay with it because they’re probably not very nice people. It’s your house, your employee, your comfort level, and your girlfriend is out of bounds and should mind her own business on this issue. The community agrees OP is not the a-hole and that the girlfriend sucks.

So, now let’s move on to the update to see how this story ends. Okay. Wow. I had no idea a silly debate between me and my girlfriend would blow up like this. I talked to her and she said she thinks it’s weird that my cleaning lady can grab something to eat or drink. She said it would be better if she brought her own stuff.

 I was like, the woman goes to multiple clients a day. She can’t be carrying a whole suitcase of snacks on top of the vacuum, mop, and everything else. And it’s not like she’s raiding my whole fridge, so who cares? My girlfriend said it just makes her uncomfortable. Then she asked why I even need a cleaning lady when I live in a two-bedroom and told me to just be an adult and clean your own place.

 She said, “I don’t need a cleaning lady to mommy me.” I was like, “She’s not mommying me. She’s a huge help and my place looks amazing after she leaves. Then she said when we move in or get married, the cleaning lady has to go because she doesn’t like strangers in her house and that I need to get off my ass and do my part.

 I told her I don’t get her logic at all. My cleaning lady doesn’t charge much. I can easily afford her and my house looks great. So, what’s the issue? She kept going on about how I’m being lazy and acting like a man baby and that I should act like an adult. I told her I’m 42 and for my 40th birthday, I hired a cleaning lady as a gift to myself because I want my free time to relax and I’m not changing that.

I honestly have no effing clue what your problem is. I just don’t get it. She hung up. Whatever. I’m honestly too old for this crap. I’m going to bed. Thanks, everyone. Opie’s final update. She texted that she can’t waste her time with a lazy man who would rather give full control of her house to a maid instead of getting off his ass to do cleaning the house himself. I told her best of luck.

 She told me to go f myself. Looking forward to spending the holidays with my son this year in my very clean house. Thank you everyone. Well, what do you know? That cleaning lady really cleaned up your house. Even the garbage is taking itself out. You can call that an early Christmas op. Thanks so much for sharing and take care.

 And now let’s finish this video with a mood booster post. This post is from the subreddit Petty Revenge and it’s by user Best Spaghetti Western. Someone kept hitting their car door into my car while I was in it, so I returned the favor. I was parked in a student parking structure and was stuck on a phone call before heading out.

 There was an SUV that pulled in next to me and for a few minutes, one of the girls had her door open while she was looking through the back seat. The door kept banging onto my car and I look over and see that she wasn’t paying attention. When all was said and done, her other friend came out from the other side of the car and they both left.

 I noticed the friend pointing out that her door was hitting my car and that’s when she looked and saw me sitting in my car. I shook my head at her after seeing that she was chuckling at the situation. Didn’t say anything because I was still on the phone. They were long gone by the time I finished my call. So, I pulled my car to park on the other side of her car and proceeded to slam my car door into hers repeatedly until some dents started caving in.

 My car is super old, so no biggie. But just because it’s old doesn’t mean people should be careless a-holes about it. Anyway, it went fine and I felt a lot better after the situation overall. So, she knew she did damage to your car, saw it, looked at you, chuckled, and left. Yeah, I don’t know about petty revenge, but definitely synthetic karma.