My Jealous Sister Tried to Upstage My Reception — Now She’s Banned From Family Holidays…

Some siblings cheer for you.
Some silently compete.
And then there are sisters like Libby — the kind who treat joy like a limited resource, and your wedding as a stage they weren’t invited to headline.

I’m 33, newly married, and no, I don’t think I was wrong for refusing to let my sister turn the happiest day of my life into yet another episode of The Libby Show.

She’s 36. The older one. The “sparkling” one. The sister who has never met a moment she couldn’t hijack. If I got a promotion, she was suddenly “pivoting into a more prestigious industry.” If I posted a photo with friends, she posted five — from “VIP rooftop events.” And when I got engaged? She posted a cryptic story about “missed chances and soulmates who don’t wait forever.”

I should’ve known the reception wouldn’t be safe.

But I wanted to believe that, just once, she could let something be about me without trying to twist the spotlight in her direction.

She made it fifteen minutes.

Continue in the c0mment👇👇

If she can’t, she plays victim to try to get attention. She has borderline personality disorder and is bipolar manic at times. It’s always a lot. Last summer, after dating for 2 years, my partner, Max, 34, male, and I got engaged. We facetimed our parents and then he texted my family group chat sharing the news.

Everyone congratulated us except Libby. Instead, she announced she was dating someone. Everyone kind of ignored the comment until a few days later. By September, we all met up in town for lunch to meet her new boyfriend, John, 37, male. Jon seemed nice, but was quiet. After a bit, my older sisters were asking details about the wedding, and Libby chimes in, cutting me off, by saying, “It’s okay to wear white, right?” I just looked at her and said, “Sure, if you want to be thrown overboard.

” We were planning a private ceremony on a boat on the East Coast. She laughs and then jokes that we could just have a double wedding. No one was laughing and John didn’t seem to care. So many more comments were made and my sisters had to keep asking if she was serious. We finished lunch pretty quickly and left.

She texted me that she was glad I adored John. I didn’t really get to know him because he didn’t talk and said they’re excited about the wedding. Adori wasn’t invited and that I would need to think about it. I then texted her recapping all the things she said that made me uncomfortable. I ended by saying if she takes attention away from Max or I on our wedding weekend, she’s cut out of our lives.

Fast forward to the ceremony and the whole day was perfect. I married my best friend and we were in bliss. Libby and John, we did end up inviting him, tried mingling with people, but no one would talk to them because they had been making rude comments about Max and I. They ended up leaving early. That was May.

Now we are hosting a big reception for all the extended family and friends in our home state where we live next month. I work in the event industry and I’m going all out, cashing in favors, and just really ready to party. I thought all was good until I started getting messages from extended family about telling my sister she’s not allowed to get engaged or married until 2026.

I just took a screenshot of Libby and I convos and sent it to them. All of them apologized. I talked to Libby and she said that they were lying and she never said that. Then during a family dinner, my parents asked if we were going to start a family and Max shared we were after the reception. Libby looked at John and smirked and went back to eating. Well, that was 3 months ago.

2 months ago, she found out she may have cancer, so my family kind of dropped everything to focus on her. We all did. Turns out it was not cancer. Then she said they were trying to get pregnant. Now, my family is super religious, like will not be happy or celebrate until you’re married if possible. So, I figured she’d wait till she was engaged and that it was happening soon.

Well, today I found out by accident that Libby is 8 weeks pregnant and planning to secretly announce something at our reception. No one knows except like three people. She has taken so much from my life. I have no idea if she’s announcing her pregnancy or if they’re engaged, but she will try to make it about her.

She told family she plans on using the name we’ve had picked out for 3 years if it’s a boy. I want to just uninvite her, but I’m not supposed to know about the pregnancy, and outside of that, I don’t really have a justifiable reason that won’t make me look like the a-hole. I already notified my mate of honor and planner, my two besties, and they want to game plan some to avoid issues.

But what the f I’m not spending all this money for a family feud at our celebration of marriage update. Thank you everyone for the comments and feedback. So, I honestly have been taking a few days to process everything because it just kept coming and I’m a week out from our big day. The day after finding out, I chatted with my wedding planner made of honor to set up fail safes just in case she tried to pull something.

They both have been in my life for so long and super protective of me. Neither are a fan of my sister and told me that if I found out, they’re sure others found out. And they were right. I had two family members come forward a few days later and confess that they knew and wanted to warn me. I chatted with my planner again and she told me everything will be okay and to just trust her. She got my back.

After talking to her, I did feel better. Fast forward to today. Libby called me sobbing. She let me know she was in fact pregnant, but that she miscarried. She does not know if she even can come anymore and said she’s too upset to be around people. I told her I would support whatever decision she made and ultimately she’s staying home.

During that call, I lost all anger, anxiety, and stress over the situation and just felt conflicted. I would never wish ill on someone who has had or having a miscarriage. That is a traumatic experience and I’m grieving for her. On the other side, I feel terrible that I’m relieved. I cannot explain every situation she put me through my entire life, but I never saw her as a mom.

I know it sounds harsh, but I would never want another soul to endure what I did. I just wish none of this happened, and I honestly do not truly know how to comfort her. I told her to talk to my other sisters because they both have had miscarriages and can support her better. My mate of honor thinks it’s all a lie and Libby is doing this to try and ruin my day, but I truly think it’s all real and just wanted her to find peace and therapy.

Update. I figured I would share what I hope is my last update. My wedding reception was this past weekend and we had a blast. The whole night we were surrounded by amazing friends and family. Libby and John got there late to arrive and my tribe of besties helped us avoid them the whole time. She apparently recovered immediately and was in good spirits.

The few people that actually knew about what happened were concerned cuz she didn’t or wasn’t grieving. More like she was plotting. I don’t know how to describe it. The following is all secondhand cuz like I said, we were focused on us. Thank God. So Libby and John hit the bar pretty hard to start. I had a few childhood friends have heated convos with Libby that I didn’t find out about till the next day.

Basically, Libby hasn’t ever been the friendly one. There were several people that we were friends with growing up. However, I was close to a lot of them and they would avoid her like the plague. My parents never forced friendships because they felt that that wasn’t fair to anyone. One of my friends, Marie, was there with her new boyfriend.

According to Marie, Libby started asking her questions on why she was at the reception. When Marie said that she had been invited, Libby said that she didn’t understand why because apparently Marie and I are not friends, which is 100% not true because Marie and I have always been relatively close. We don’t see each other that much, but we do stay in touch and talk a lot on the phone.

John apparently joined the conversation and said that he thought it was odd that a lot of Libbyy’s friends were at our wedding. When Marie asked what he meant, he said it was from his understanding that most of the family friends that were present friends with Libby and not me. Marie laughed and said she’s never going to be friends with Libby, turned to Libby and told her that she needs to grow up.

Basically, this style of conversation happened multiple times with several people to the point of where John and Libby ended up leaving halfway through everything. She even tried to get my best friends, including my maid of honor and planner, to come sit with her during certain wedding functions that they were participating in.

My maid of honor kept asking her to repeat herself because she clearly wasn’t hearing her correctly. Someone asked Libby if she was trying to ruin my big day. At this point, my family stepped in and asked Libby to leave. Most of the extended family knew about the miscarriage and thought all of her behavior was super weird. I’ve had a lot of people message me about random things that she did or said, and they all apologized to me, saying they hope she didn’t ruin my day. She didn’t.

And as of current, she’s going to be uninvited from Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas, which has blown up into a whole ordeal. Apparently, John planned to propose to Libby at our Thanksgiving. My dad no longer thinks that the miscarriage was real due to how she was behaving at the reception. There’s a lot of things that happened that I won’t put in a list here, but I’m just thankful that there was security, local PD on site. Libby has gone crazy.

The last little bit was we had in our thank you speech to all the guests about starting a family one day and maybe being blessed with a little boy’s name or girl’s name. I swear I thought Libbyy’s eyes were going to pop out and steam come out of her ears. We think this is the moment that caused her to start the aggressive convos that led to her leaving early.

John has messaged me since then saying that I purposely campaigned with everyone to make Libby feel bad about herself. I haven’t responded and Mark and I have decided to go no contact. My whole family is supporting us, so it’s a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Either way, just happy it’s over with and that we had a blast.

Here’s to a new chapter with my favorite human. Thank you all for being supportive and understanding. It’s been great feeling validated during this time. You did everything right, though. You set boundaries. You warned her. And you still gave her a chance. It’s not your fault she turned out what should have been your celebration into another episode of Look at Me, I’m Libby.

And feeling relieved about the miscarriage. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not about wishing her harm. It’s about finally getting a break from the chaos she drags around. Yeah, it sucks, but you’ve earned your happy chapter. And it sounds like everyone in your corner knows it, too. What do you think? Up next, when the good guy husband turns out to be not so good after all.

My husband said he has done. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel blindsided. My husband is one of the guys everyone says he is a good guy. That’s how I always felt about him. But today has made me question our entire relationship. We have been married for over 4 years. He just recently September 2024 went back to college as he was a dropout but was a hard worker and did construction jobs.

His family never accepted nor liked me. Anyway, the college he started is 2 hours away from where our home is. Before he started school, our marriage was not great. We fought a lot. He is terrible at communication and I took his silence personal, especially when I was emotional, which created more problems.

Ever since he started school, I only see him on holidays and things were starting to look hopeful to me. He would write letters or cute cards for me when he came over today. He said he wrote letters to tell me what I wanted to hear and that he’s been feeling like he is done way before he started school and nothing has changed.

He’s been getting very close to two girls in his program which I didn’t mind because I trust him. But now I’m starting to question everything. He also told me he spoke to one of the girls about how he feels about us before he even told me. Another thing is he didn’t wear a ring which I’m okay with as I don’t wear a ring most of the times due to being forgetful but none of his friends in school know he is married and he refers to me as his girlfriend which hurt me but I ignored because I trust him and thought he didn’t want to come off as too old today

when he told me he is done. I asked him if he likes one of his friends from school and he said no. Then I said tell me what I can do to help fix the marriage and he said nothing. He also said he knows I work on the marriage, but he doesn’t want to and he feels done. I’m still shocked by everything. I feel like I’m having an out-of- body experience.

I would never have believed if he told me he’s capable of this. I thought he was someone who was going to not give up on our marriage. We don’t have kids, so that’s good. And we are in our late 20s. We come from different backgrounds, and I had to convince my parents to be okay with our marriage. Now I feel stupid. I thought he was going to show them that he is a good man, not someone who just quits when there’s a problem.

Edit update. First, I want to say thanks for all the kind comments. We haven’t spoken since last night when he told me he is done. I’ve spoken to my best friend and sister who have advised me to get a lawyer and start planning my exit. It hasn’t been 24 hours yet since I found out, and I’m still shocked.

Some people said I don’t love him, and that’s why I don’t visit him often. Call me stupid, but if I didn’t love him, I wouldn’t try to be understanding of everything he does. We talk every night before he goes to sleep. He complains every day about his schoolwork. And as a former college student, I understand how stressful school is.

He goes to school every day of the week and I even try to convince him to relax and take time off the on the weekends. That’s when he hangs out with his friends. I thought it was good for him. I have experienced burnout in school and didn’t want him to go through that. I love him and that’s why this whole thing hurts.

It’s tough to respond to all the people asking about what problems we had. The issue is he gives me silent treatment and stonewalls me when I express something that bothered or hurt me. I’m not a saint and having experienced some trauma in the past, I tend to take things personal, but I have been seeing a therapist and a coach.

I know there’s two sides to a story, but he said himself last night that I put in effort while he doesn’t. He even said I deserve better. So yeah, I have been patient, worked on myself, and still improving myself. I want to be better, not just for him, but for myself. He used to say he will put in the work, but now he doesn’t want to and that he’s done.

We are both 28 and been together over 5 years. Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten married so young. I tried to wait, but he said all his cousins got married very young and we were going to be okay. I’m also not a bot who wants karma. What am I supposed to do with the karma some of you talk about? I don’t even use Reddit that often.

Edit two. Last update. We spoke for hours again. I tried to get to the bottom of everything. He mentioned problems I didn’t know we had, like he doesn’t feel free in the marriage. When I asked what do I do to make him feel not free, he didn’t respond. He usually goes quiet when I ask questions, and that’s why I said his lack of communication has been a problem.

I wanted us to be happy in the marriage, but he wouldn’t share any problems when I felt something was off. Last night, he mentioned a bunch of things like, “He isn’t in love with me. I’m not in love either, but was willing to work through it. He doesn’t like when I complain to him.

I have had family problems, but I found out he doesn’t like to hear any of my problems because it affects his mood. He feels restricted in the marriage or doesn’t feel free. I don’t know why because I never stopped him from living his life. He is happier alone. I have been feeling the same because less fights, arguments due to the distance and also less responsibility for me like not having to worry about cooking for him etc.

Another thing I found out after asking many questions as to why he calls me a girlfriend is his parents don’t know that we are married. During the wedding, he said that they didn’t want to come. His family is white and conservative. I am blazian and liberal. He said that he was planning to tell them once they liked me, but that didn’t happen.

And that’s why he encouraged me to not wear a ring, especially when going to his family because we were going to do activities that involved water, which is what we mostly did as his family lives near a lake. He also said that his dad’s friend is a professor at the college, and didn’t want him finding out that he is married like that.

I asked if he was ever planning to tell them and he said that he doesn’t have the balls to say we are married because they want us to break up. They never came to our place. I tried baking muffins, cooking lasagna and food to show that I care, but they don’t like black people and apparently use the n-word when I’m not around.

I don’t look black or Asian. My family has a lot of mixed race people and people can never guess what I am. Also, I have left my ring in bathrooms before, and honestly, I don’t like wearing rings, but my family, friends, co-workers all know I’m married. He has only told he is married to one of his cousins and a couple friends.

Also, I stopped going to his family events over one and a half years ago because they never invited me, and I gave up trying to please them. My parents weren’t on board at first, but they have accepted him. In fact, most of my family felt sorry for him because his family doesn’t support our marriage. But now I found out his family doesn’t know about the marriage and he doesn’t want to say anything because they won’t be happy or they will disown him.

I know you’re wondering why he didn’t visit often when he is only 2 hours away. He rarely visited his parents who live like 1 and 1/2 hours in a small town nearby even before we got married. He hates driving and wouldn’t even want to drive for a few hours in the summers, not just winter. Also, he couldn’t find architectural programs in our city, and this was the closest college that offered it.

I didn’t visit him because he sounded stressed and about school work every day of the week, and I didn’t want to interfere with his plans. I also live in a place that has bad winters, and I don’t like driving in snow for that long, and it’s not safe. Anyway, this is all the update. I thought I was being understanding, but I guess there were red flags I shouldn’t have ignored.

It is clear he is done and doesn’t want to work through our problems, so I’m going to get a lawyer and start the divorce process. I feel like there’s so much his hiding and I’m tired of digging and being more disappointed. I will let go and move on. Update: April 30th, 2025. Spoke to him today and he admitted that he caught feelings for a girl 2 months ago and that they have been seeing each other.

Now, let’s see what the community thinks about this. First one says, “My immediate thought was he’s found a younger woman at college. I mean, if you had a crap marriage even before the college, you can’t be 100% blindsided. You haven’t been together that long really, unless you got together as actual kids or something.

The beautiful thing about modern marriage is that if things aren’t great, we’re allowed to leave. We aren’t pressured to be a society filled with religious whack jobs to remain in crappy situations just to preserve sanctity. Next person says, “I’m a little confused why you feel blindsided. You said even before he started college, your marriage was not great.

Then he moved for college and you only see him on holidays. It’s great he wants to get a degree, but it’s very odd it seems it wasn’t a priority for you guys to figure out how to make it work with you living in the same area. Finally, lying about being married is a huge red flag. I can’t think of a single person my husband would have a reason to or want to lie to about being married.

Seeming too old to some random classmates is a terrible excuse because you should come before some strangers. Based solely on the info you gave, I’m not sure how this will work. You’re at a great age to divorce easily and cut your losses. Update: 12 days later. Happy getting divorced.

It’s been close to 2 weeks since my husband of over 4 years told me he is done. I tried talking to him, but he was cold and didn’t care. He didn’t sound like the man I fell in love with. I saw him a couple days ago, and he didn’t even look the same. A few weeks ago, things were okay, but the switch was shocking and confusing. We had problems like every couple, but nothing I would have considered a red flag.

Now, I’m happy to he chose to end the marriage. After seeing who he truly is, I don’t want him. He was emotionally cheating for sure, and he acted like he was better than me. It’s crazy because I used to think he is humble, loyal, and kind, but I realized he is not. He was very good at pretending.

Also, I effing lowered my standards because I thought he was a nice guy and turns out he wasn’t. I supported him when he was depressed and had low self-esteem. I poured into him because I wanted him to be happy and confident. I was his only friend and I felt bad. I had a lot of friends but slowly stopped hanging out with them.

I abandoned some of the things that made me happy. That was my fault. He went back to college, made a couple girlfriends, and he slowly started changing. I thought they were only friends, but they weren’t. I found out he cares about them more than me who has been there for him for over 5 years. Also, when I tried to ask why he’s ending the marriage, he started attacking me personally and being extremely hurtful.

How could you be unkind to someone who loved you? Also, this family and friends didn’t know we were married. He told me they didn’t want to come to our wedding because they don’t like me due to my race, only to find out he never invited them. My family and friends felt bad for him and embraced him as one of them. Everything was a game in his head.

He doesn’t even look like a guy who could do such a thing. How is he sleeping peacefully and laughing with both families when he is lying? When I asked why he didn’t tell his family about our marriage, his excuse was that he never confronted his family and was afraid he will be disowned. At first, I wanted to fight for the marriage.

Now I’m happy we’re getting divorced. I don’t feel like I lost anything. He was deceitful and a user and I don’t want anything to do with him. I hope he gets his karma. In hindsight, I can see the red flags I ignored throughout our relationship. This has been a lesson to me. Coming from an abusive home, I clinged to the breadcrumbs of love he gave me.

I cried for days at first. Now I want to grow from this. Work on my traumas. Work on self-love. Stop giving the benefit of the doubt. Watch closely for red flags. And never lower my standards again. Update 3 weeks later. Soon to be ex-husband wants to see me tomorrow. married close to 5 years and he ended the marriage abruptly a month ago.

He acted like a victim, blamed me, lied to me, gaslighted me, was cruel to me, attacked my personality for the entire month. Last week, he admitted that he had an affair, but said they only kissed and he caught feelings. I didn’t react and just told him they deserve each other as the girl was cheating on her boyfriend, too.

Yesterday, he shared that they had sex multiple times. Again, I didn’t give him any reaction and told him I feel sorry for him and that I’m glad I am not someone like him who is a cheater and a liar. I also told him that he could just have been honest when he chose to end the marriage instead of acting like a victim and saying that he is done because he is unhappy.

Despite not reacting much, I cried alone at home when I was alone. Of course, it hurts to know the person I blindly trusted could hurt me this much. Anyway, he just messaged me and wants to see me tomorrow after work. He said he wants to tell me how he feels. I’m worried. I know enough to know that he is an effed up human and I don’t want anything to do with him.

Every time I speak to him, I feel like I get depressed and my healing process goes backwards. Should I not see him tomorrow? I still care for him, but the reality is he isn’t the same person I trusted. Update. I told him I don’t want to see him and I prefer texting than blocked him.

After reading all the comments, I realized that I need to put my mental health first and go no contact. He still has a lot of his clothes and stuff at home, so I didn’t want to block him, but I guess he can email me once he realizes he has blocked. Also, we don’t have kids and I’m keeping the cats as he doesn’t care about them anyway. Time to go back to the community for more follow-up.

First up, wow, you handled everything so well. It’s the way I try to get betrayed partners to react when affairs come to light. I’m so proud of you. Do not meet up with him tomorrow. He cares that you don’t care. It’ll slowly wake him up and he will start to panic. Do not engage with him. Cry, wallow, sleep, eat, scream, whatever you have to do.

But in front of him, stoic, unemotional, water off a duck’s back. They get off on your tears. Don’t give them to him. One other person says, “Why would you give a crap how he feels now when he has never cared how you felt through any of this? It’s time to do yourself a favor and let him go to f himself and block his butt.

There’s nothing at all to be gained from talking to him again. He’s a liar, so you can’t trust anything he says. And you know it will all just make you feel bad. So why would you do it? Nothing at all to be gained. And you know it will only cause you pain. Leave your emotions out of this and make a rational decision.

It’s time to let him go and move on with your life. You deserve better than a cheater, particularly an abusive one. He hid the fact he was married from everyone, lied to his own family about it, emotionally manipulated you, gas lit you, and somehow still has the audacity to try to make you feel bad about it. He had 5 years to grow up, to communicate, to be a husband, and he chose literally everything else.

You put up with it for way too long. You’ve already seen who he really is. A liar, a cheat, a coward, and a master of excuses. He isn’t worth another minute of your thoughts, your tears, or your time. Honestly, block him, delete him, and move on. Let him stew in his own mess while you reclaim your life. The only thing he’s good at is providing exactly why he’s someone you never want to waste another second on.

What would you do if you were OP? Let us know in the comments. And thank you for joining us today in the R Lounge. Be sure to like and subscribe and hit that notification bell so you don’t miss out on our next video. Until next time, and please put your chair back where you found it.