My stepson is upset that I am his stepfather because he has his real father in jail, but then let him go to live with him if he likes it so much. I carry 8 years married to my wife and I know her for 10. We have a good marriage and I was sure I wanted marry her a couple of months later to start the relationship.
If it had been For me, we would have gotten married 10 ago years. But she had a son previous relationship and wanted to be sure of me and bringing his son Stuart into our relationship. I understood where it came from and I loved her. And that’s a big factor. in our relationship. So I waited and I waited until she was sure of me and I did without a single complaint.
The relationship of my wife with Stuart’s father, Let’s call it a lost case for purposes of the publication, because that is what It really is, it was tumultuous, because say less. They had a relationship comings and goings for a long time when she was in a very bad moment of her life. When she became pregnant with estuar, He realized that it was time to get your act together, because Otherwise he would condemn his son to same life that she and her father had been living.
Lost case is addicted to crack. It’s that simple, it always has been been. He tried to make my wife got into it, but she always resisted their attempts and that used to be their main point of contention. says who loved him and knew him long before to dive into this well of hell from which he never came out, so He always tried to get him out of there.
and that perhaps lost to the utmost, because he hated being disciplined and tell them what to do. So I was trying put my wife in the same, mainly to get it off above. Yes, it was quite done disaster. And honestly, I really don’t. I know how my wife got this far. Anyone in your situation would have collapsed and collapsed like a house cards. Still, she resisted.
throughout the relationship and when it was pregnant, she knew she had to get away of that crap. According to her, in that moment I still had hope that once Lost Case found out that they were going to have a son, he would route. Now she laughs at herself for believing this, but at that moment really thought that once case lost knowing that he was going to be a father, child and the magnitude of the responsibility They would make him leave it and show his face.
By unfortunate for her, but Fortunately for me, it was on hand. height of his name. At the moment in who found out she was pregnant, He took off and enjoyed it. She tried contact him during the first months of pregnancy, but soon he realized that he had gone to always. She gave birth, she did not name lost case on the certificate and raised Stuart alone during the first 7 years.
A couple of months after he was born, he found out that case lost had been arrested and during The following years he entered and left the jail She, on the other hand, worked very hard and he left that life because he couldn’t I wanted Stuart to experience everything. that. When he was seven, he met me me and the rest is history.
All this background is necessary for the incident main thing that happened. I wanted to emphasize the fact that, in essence, I am the only one father figure that Stuart has seen, especially in a permanent sense of the word. That brings us to what It happened a few days ago, which is the big problem between my stepson and me.
When things were starting to get serious between my wife and me, she had made it clear that for her her priority main would always be Stuart and that was It’s your job to take care of him. I told him that understood and would help her in everything possible and I did it. It’s a pity that the circumstances have forced me to withdraw all that help.
But again, Stuart is old enough now and he He asked for it himself. Stuart is ready going to university next year, but for the last few months it has been going through a phase that my wife and I we call teenage years distraught I came home late, it was cutting with all of us and things the style. We tried to talk to him Regarding this, we even suggest therapy because he didn’t really tell us that he was bad, but I wasn’t open to anything.
No I’ll deny it, it’s a little irritating, but I think all children behave this way at least once in your life. I used to be the same with my old man, so I chalked it up to normal behavior. as a teenager. Little did I know that this behavior was hiding something much meaner and, frankly, much more devastating than I had imagined originally.
adolescence distraught it turned into something else a few days ago. Stuart was being a brat about something again and my wife She was in a bad mood because she didn’t even I could bear it because it was already much morethan a youthful tantrum. In general it was a bad day for everyone and therefore we all explode. He was going out again.
had been leaving almost every day after the school. And when his mother He asked where he was going, he shrugged shoulders and ignored her. We thought that He used to go see his girlfriend and he didn’t want to tell us about it. We know her and We know his family. They are good people. That day was also about leaving, however, my wife he opposed.
He said there was a warning about a storm that was coming and I wouldn’t let him go out in that weather. He burst out and replied, “This is not so typical of him. It’s more about ignoring and that kind of things. My wife was already bad mood, so he answered him and got into a verbal argument quite ugly He said he would leave, whether he liked it or not, and that he did not like the way i was trying control your life.
My wife told him that He wasn’t going anywhere because he was a minor and she decided whether to let whether he left the house or not. They were both screaming and I know that both mother and son when they are angry you really don’t know they stop. And then came the low blow. Estuar called her one of her own mother.
My wife was too stunned to speak and I was just furious. No, you don’t talk to him like this to my wife and much less to your mother in front of me. I’m sorry, but I They were raised with other values and I was not going to let go so easily. I intervened immediately to tell him that ask for forgiveness at that moment and not I was going to let him talk like that about anyone.
In that point, essentially the three We were yelling at each other, driving everyone crazy. I told him that We had been very lenient with him. We had been tolerating his behavior for a long time, That didn’t mean we approved of it or that we were letting him become into a horrible human being. I had to be able to control your tongue and your temperament.
I told him I was punished for talking to his mother like that and that we needed to have a good talk about your attitude, because I don’t tolerate this in my house. And that’s when he said that I had absolutely no right to punish him, because it was not his true father I was just a man whom his mother had married secure your future.
But he knew who It was his father and it was his real dad. who would listen and not to a nobody like me He said this and left in a huff. and my wife and I look at each other as if a truck would have hit us directly in the face. We hadn’t either heard about his biological father. He never came back the next day. nobody Does he know where he spent the night or how protected from the storm, but was locked in his room all day.
I didn’t talk to him and neither did my wife, because we were both still a little angry with him at that time. we had never expected it to turn out like this and my wife I hadn’t raised him to be someone like that Obviously he knew that I didn’t was his biological father, but he had never mentioned perhaps lost that I remember.
We thought it was just a teenager choosing carefully the words to hurt. I don’t know what has exactly past with him, but yes I know that, no matter what it was, it is not excuse to behave the way that he did it. We wait a day or two to come to his senses and apologize or He would even talk to us, but that It didn’t happen.
So I knew it was time make things clear with the young man. It I called my room and still had the audacity to enter in a damned state fury I knew what was coming but still I thought I should give it a try to apologize I asked him if he had something to say to me or his mother. my wife was there when this was going on happening.
I never make decisions unilateral when it comes to estuar. I want to clear the air before Reddit is on me. didn’t say anything for a while and then, in a tone arrogantly told us that if we didn’t have nothing to tell him, we should let him go because he had much better things than make us look at each other all day. That was everything.
I told him that the time I made some space in your busy schedule, because I don’t I was going to pay his tuition. Now although Stuard is a brat, he’s also a boy very intelligent and I know he will go far If it doesn’t ruin your life. I had been saving a college fund for him and I just revoked it. If I’m not you Dad, you don’t get my money.
He also I said I was planning to adopt him. before his 18th birthday, but yes He really wanted to be his real dad, that he was a good-for-nothing and that he never had come to see him in 17 years, it was more How welcome. It was as if all color will drain from his face. looked at his mother to intervene, but my wife said at the end of the day it was my money and had every right not to give it to him. He was the one who had said that IIt wasn’t her dad and my wife said yes.
had meant what he said, It seemed fair that I should not use the money him. She would do the same if things were inverted. I think that made some sense, but it was too egotistical to say anything. He doubled down and said never thought I would be someone with an ego masculine so fragile, that it would torpedo his entire future just because he had the guts to face and admit the truth, that I am not his father.
I replied, well, go live with your father then. No I need a teenage brat in me house. I’m not going to tolerate some brat insolent who lives at my expense in me home he disrespected me, yoriching, “You’re not my real dad.” continued being a brat and my wife got sick of him. Me too and I had to get away from the room or I would have done something I would regret it.
My wife stayed talking to him some more. I could hear some fragments from the other room. Neither of them spoke soft. From what I could understand that no It was a lot, she was trying tell him he was being too mean and rude, who would pledge his entire future if he did not realize the error of his errors.
And he said he was fed up and Tired of her and she was already paying for the error of their errors, which she had committed in the past. No I am quoting what he said verbatim, but this is the central point of what was happening between the two and frankly made my jaw stop ears like nothing. I knew at that moment, without a shadow of a doubt, that something was going on with him, something serious, and I can’t take away the feeling that I had something What to do with lost case.
The question is that my wife had never told him a lot about his father and he never I had really asked. He had been said that his biological father had fled never to be seen again and it was not someone who would be a good influence in the life of Start. But with what he said during the fight and his shady behavior, can’t help it feel that maybe, just maybe, have contacted missing case and that’s why all this is happening.
I know that is too far-fetched and not even He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, heedless and neither do we. The idiot almost He is always in jail, but he doesn’t I know. Something doesn’t feel right about it. Maybe Lost Case got in touch with him, although that is very unlikely, He doesn’t give a damn about his son.
But yes Stuart has done it and really thinks who is his real father, then no I have trouble packing his things and send it with him. I know that ultimately Ultimately it is my wife’s decision do with your son, but right now I think even she is tired of this. Already raised him to almost majority old trying to get him away from that person, of his toxicity, and he has voluntarily chosen that.
So, maybe experience it in first person Maybe it will help you see things as they are. we see Edition. I don’t It is up to me to tell the story of his biological father to Stuart. That’s it his mother’s task. All that I know is indirectly by my wife, so no There is nothing I can tell you really. Anyway, I think tell him he’s gone and not be in Contact for years is enough.
Yes still prefers his biological father over from his mother or from me, tell him that he was in jail or whatever, it doesn’t seem like It’s going to make a lot of difference. at least That’s how I see it. If my mother had me said that my dad didn’t love me and left, I think I would be the last person in the world I would search for.
Update one. My hunch was correct, though To be honest, the way it is expressed, it was quite obvious. Just that now we have confirmation, it has been set in contact with lost case. After the fight I mentioned in my last publication, my wife punished Estar for two weeks. He protested a little, but he accepted and that was when we decided attack.
I told my wife what I was thinking about him being in contact with lost case and so on. and She said she feared the same thing, but no. I had no idea what to do about it. So that we did the only thing we could, talk to him. It was better than expected, at least at the beginning. But then he revealed what was happening and that part was not so good We went to his room asking him to talk and when he said yes, my wife said she had protected him for too long and I wanted know the truth about his life and father. He seemed a little disinterested,
but she insisted. he told him what the case Perdido and she had met when They were both very young, but gradually he had fallen into drug addiction. This too It helped me also discover new things about him. The consumption was little at first and every time she I tried to stop him, he used to tell her that everyone does it and that it is notbig deal. She tried so hard to get him out.
that and he tried to get her into it. both they failed. He said that during periods of insane highs he too hit That was new information for me, but I could imagine it. Then when He sobered up, apologized and cried. and made a scene saying things like that he was not conscious when he did it and that he was not the same after having consumed the drug.
Yes, my wife was left because, well, I didn’t know better and He was an abused person, very different from the person I know now, who has confronted his son in several of the discussions. Finally, he understood when she became pregnant with Stuart. something on being a mother, the hormones, the changes mood, whatever it was, made him see clearly the toxicity.
Despite everything history of drugs and violence, she I was still hoping that a Once she was pregnant, he would clean up his act and finally would appear in the capacity that she wanted. I didn’t want to be with him, but maybe he would have an epiphany too like her. But that never happened. He said that the moment he told her about pregnancy, he ran.
what he did literally because they found themselves in a public place with people around. Therefore, when she spoke about the pregnancy, she practically left there as fast as he could. My wife spoke with the mother of lost case, but she I also wasn’t in a good relationship with him. I didn’t call it a case for nothing.
lost, not that that’s his name and surname, although if it were it would not It wouldn’t be bad at all. he said he knew then I was completely alone in this, but in retrospect that was better because I didn’t want Stuart grew up with a man who was so selfish I could never see anything else than himself.
She was proud of herself herself for creating a life away from him and separated from him, who made sure that Stuart never had a role model as bad as his biological father, because if he was still in his life at some point capacity, it was likely to be very toxic. He said that the last he knew of he was that he had been arrested, but that never tried to contact her or with Stuart in all these years.
He said he just wanted to get that out of his mind. chest and that he deserved to know the truth about his father, his family and his ancestry, and I knew it was Old enough to handle it. Of all that, the part in which case lost I didn’t want anything with him is the one Stuart already knew.
He never saw it in his life. I didn’t know about drugs, arrests and beatings of his mother until recently. We could see that Stuart was thinking about everything we told him, that was very quiet while his mother spoke. After a few minutes he said had contacted case lost. There we were able to fill some gaps in his life during these years, but before too.
Stuart became a DNA ancestry test line with some of his friends for fun and that’s when He discovered that he had a half-brother who He is three years older than him. He contemplated a lot before communicating with him. let’s call James to the half brother. But the Curiosity took over him. James and him They met and hit it off and then James presented him as a hopeless case.
Apparently Lost Case had been involved in James’s life from the beginning and James was convinced What a lost case I didn’t know how to destroy because Otherwise there was no way abandon his son. It is important mention here that even James is addicted to drugs and Stuart became realize that after a few meetings with him.
So James took Stuart to meet Lost Case. Case Lost acted totally surprised Saying he never knew that bitch my wife had given birth and couldn’t believe that she hid it from him, knowing perfectly that everything he always What he wanted in life was to have a family. This is the worst part, because I let would call his mother Zorra and far from seem like a red flag, he let it go.
Lost Case and Stuart began to pass more and more time together, so much so that Stuart used to steal food from home to take it to Lost Case. According to Stuart, and he himself admits now that it is a bit Stupid, Lost Case said his house had been in a massive fire and I had nowhere to go, so I was living on the street.
I didn’t have money, no house, no job, no food. so Stuart helped him with food. James lo helped with money. Stuart knew that James He was a drug dealer, but the whole history was distorted so that It seems that James did it just for love for his homeless father, who deserved the best in the world. and all this time that Stuart was with them was affecting.
Maybe it’s me and my too many video games in my childhood, but the story of James and Lost Case It seems no better. Didn’t they tellStuart a story where Lost Case was working building wells water in Africa? They literally told him that one sold drugs and also consumed while helping his father survive on the street It was like, “Hi, I’m your father, maybe I take drugs, I live in the shut up and call your mother a bitch, but “I always wanted a family and I love you.
” and Estart responded, “I always loved you with all my heart.” I wasn’t the only one I was thinking about that, because my wife He told him that he raised him to be much better. and what if he wanted to listen to his father drug addict, then I could help him pack your bags, but it would be the last thing What I would do for him as a mother.
there the manipulation and cries began Stuart, because he thought it was unfair that his own mother cut him because he wanted a relationship with his father. My wife had also saved for her university, however, told him that he could have a relationship with who want, but he was not going to finance it. He could have a relationship with case lost, that this time he called him from another less kind way or with your environment brother, but he knew where he would go money to buy food and books the university. So she wouldn’t be
to see the plane crash. Also gave him two options. I could go live with his half-brother and biological father or stay here until you’re 18. But if he could call his mother all those things and prefer that bag of excrement after everything he did for him, no there was a lot to say. Lost case, no had no obligation to do care of him until he was older age, since he was not in the certificate.
But she does, just for that reason She was going to allow him to stay. The discussion ended shortly after and no I contributed too much because I think that what My wife said that was enough. I think Stuart has a slim chance of do things right here. It can happen realize the terrible mistake that is committing to ask for forgiveness on his knees his mother and pray that the anger Or you can follow this road and end very badly.
Update two. I thought three weeks wouldn’t be long time to come back and have things new things to tell, but underestimate the power that drug addicts have to cause trouble every step they go. To begin with, Stuart remains firm with his idea of keeping in touch with his father, even after what I’m going to tell you.
has decided to stay until he meets the 18 years old because, well, his father is alive practically on the street and it’s not like If I had an extra room for him, unless you like sleeping under the light of the stars. We have no choice legal to remove him from the house because it is minor.
In any case, he and his mother they don’t talk to each other and with me Stuart much less ago. I can see what you This hurts my wife, but more to know who did everything possible for him during these 17 years. There is nothing more than do for him, because there comes a time when the life you have to let them take their own decisions, whether correct or no.
Maybe I’ll reconsider before I’m 18 and At least I don’t ruin it forever. relationship with his mother, but I doubt it. Your father was arrested again after try to rob someone in the park. It was night and a hopeless case. now behind the bars he used a gun white to threaten him and take away his wallet. He was arrested a few days later because someone recognized him the street For now he is locked up and Stuart thinks he only did it to get food, which is a victim of system. That was the last thing I mentioned.
In a last discussion they had with my wife, although without me in the house. No No matter what Lost Case does or says, will always look good in the eyes of Stuart. The only good thing you’re doing Stuart right now is following applying for university scholarships. The I was going to need it anyway, even with our money, but now he has more reasons to do so.
I saw it the other day on your tablet doing it. We don’t know what He has plans for his birthday, but my wife remains firm that that day must leave the house, no matter what. I am from those who believed that if at least I’m sorry, maybe my wife doesn’t I would like outside. Money saved now is completely out of the question. But seeing how Stuart reacted after The basket case arrest, I guess It will become a lost case.
Junior update three. This turned 18 and As his mother promised, the only thing that He said that day is to take his things and he would leave Hard, but fair. It must hurt like the one your own child uses your ex-abuser’s words against you. Stuart hadn’t packed anything for that one. day.
I must have thought that my wife would soften because it was his birthday. but before going to work he told her would march And that was it. I stayed working from home that day. my wife I didn’t want to leave Stuart alone in caseto let his father or daughter enter brother while we were gone. During These months we have taken some measures security extras for that, but not anymore has legal responsibility to Stuart and It’s gone. That happened about 5co ago.
days and it was the most important event for us what I wanted to tell you. what It happened with a lost case, it’s something completely surreal. decided to deliver to the police to his other son, saying details of your small sales business so that they reduce their punishment. So your eldest son has entered and he has left only with a conditional release.
The only positive aspect is that there is a seller less on the streets. Case lost has been released, but if You don’t get a job, you may soon lose that benefit. I can see myself as optimistic, but that guy is not going to get a job, even if your life depend on it. He depended on both children to eat and money.
Now he has thrown one under the bus and the other safe that gets him a better destiny. I I would like to take a break from this story because my wife and I we need to recover. Maybe you’ll come back to read me in a week or maybe not I’ll never come back, but that’s what I can do give you today. Update 4. Hello to everyone, Reddit.
It’s strange to reopen my count and remember when you came here followed. For a few months I read a lot of their comments and that helped. Today I am in a much better place and my wife is too. She told them Thank you for sending your good wishes all this time. For whom I want to know my story and refresh What has happened, I leave you a summary.
If not, you can skip to the next paragraph, where the new begins update. We were hoping that my jastro ended up attending the university by their own means. He had a very big mouth to speak, so we hoped it would have too what is necessary to go. But it ended in practically the worst possible way, crashing and following a life quite similar to his father’s.
ago I read for a while that it is curious that addictions can have a component genetic. There are people who are more prone to becoming dependent on something and there could be or there is an aspect genetic that predisposes them. has been in and out of rehab the last few years. We know it because we has asked for money to do it, but already We have made peace with that and we said no.
He had to go to free places, which is not ideal. His half-brother was released from prison about two years ago, that’s why Stuart She went to live with him for a while. He still thinks his father is a victim, which led to having a argument with his half-brother, who kicked out of his place. It is the same father who He handed him over to the police to save his life.
same. Estuar told us that he was without home the last time he asked us for money because his half brother had kicked him out and he told us why. But after that We didn’t know more about him. That was like three months, maybe more. Now what I what brings here is that Lost Case just receive a new sentence that will have long time behind bars.
When it we left in my previous update, he He was on parole and after failing to find a stable job, was sent to prison to serve his conviction, only he resisted arrest and tried to stab a police officer when They were looking for him in an occupied house illegally. That took about 4 years. of conviction.
It was not his first crime nor his first chance. but recently evidence of a case was discovered open that involves a lost case, that is no longer lost. Nobody is looking unless you count Stuart. It’s a pretty heavy murder case. in which he was involved indirectly. I was buying what consumes while they murdered someone, but he was seen as an accomplice, for not tell the police when it was interrogated.
So, at 4 years old is already complying, others are added six more. It will have to come out in 2033 because he has already been in prison for almost two years for the first conviction. I have always been considered an optimistic OPE, so no I think I’ll get out of there. There are many things right now they are against you, Like he’s still an addict.
but Worse still, there doesn’t seem to be a chance of reintegration into society. with me jastro I don’t know, but it’s still the same way than his half-brother and his father, So I wouldn’t put my hopes on it.