White House Press Secretary Caroline Leavitt has managed to carve out her own uniquely embarrassing lane—one filled with circular logic, faith-based hypocrisy, and defenses of indefensible actions. Her latest performance at the podium might be her most surreal yet.

Before stepping into the briefing room, Leavitt reportedly begins each day with a prayer. Not for wisdom or justice, but—if we’re being honest—for the strength to convincingly deliver absurd justifications and blatant lies on behalf of her boss, Donald Trump. Her pre-briefing ritual, meant to invoke divine guidance, feels more like a sacrilegious warm-up to spin, mislead, and gaslight the press and the public.

The DoJ Debacle: Trump Targets His Enemies

In a particularly damning moment, journalist Jonathan Swan grilled Leavitt about President Trump’s open directive to the Department of Justice to investigate political enemies like Chris Krebs and Miles Taylor. The irony? Trump had previously claimed that Biden directing investigations would be the height of political corruption—something Trump is now doing himself.

Leavitt’s response? A spectacular non-answer. “He signed the executive order. That’s his policy.” Translation: Because he did it, it’s allowed. Circular logic at its finest. No legal justification, no ethical grounding—just a shrugging defense of raw power.

Canada as the 51st State? Seriously?

If that wasn’t enough, Leavitt doubled down on one of Trump’s favorite punchlines: annexing Canada. When pressed about shifting U.S.-Canada relations, Leavitt insisted Trump still believes Canadians would “benefit greatly” from becoming America’s 51st state. This tone-deaf fantasy comes as Canadian and European travel to the U.S. has plummeted under Trump’s leadership. The administration has managed to alienate key allies while also damaging tourism-dependent sectors of the economy. “America First” has increasingly come to mean “America Alone.”

The Abrago Garcia Travesty

Leavitt was also asked about the case of Abrago Garcia—a man wrongfully deported due to a clerical error. El Salvador refuses to return him, with their president now labeling him a “terrorist,” without providing a shred of evidence. In true Trump-era fashion, Leavitt parroted the claim, accusing Garcia of MS-13 ties, human trafficking, and illegal entry—without legal proof or due process.

What’s missing from her monologue? Any semblance of law. Due process has been replaced with narrative-driven deportation. If someone becomes politically inconvenient or the optics are bad, the truth no longer matters. Just slap a “terrorist” label on them and wash your hands.

A Stock Ban? Trump’s “Looking Into It” (Again)

Asked whether Trump would support banning members of Congress from trading stocks, Leavitt gave the classic non-committal line: “He’s looking at everything.” Of course, that’s what they always say when they plan to do absolutely nothing. We’ve heard this tune before. Nothing ever comes of it—because corruption, apparently, is a feature, not a bug.

Deporting Americans to Foreign Prisons? Yep, That’s a Real Discussion

In a moment that seems ripped from dystopian fiction, Leavitt was asked whether it’s legal to deport American citizens to prison camps in El Salvador, as Trump has floated. Her answer? “It’s a legal question the president is looking into.” Spoiler alert: it’s not legal. Not even close. But in Trumpworld, legal norms are mere suggestions, and the Constitution is just a speed bump on the road to authoritarianism.

The Faith Farce

Leavitt’s contradictions reach divine levels of hypocrisy. She presents herself as a devout Christian, even adorning massive crosses during her briefings. But her actions—defending lies, cruelty, and lawless governance—reveal a deep disconnect between the values she claims and the behavior she enables. Mockery of her religious symbolism has gotten so loud she’s reportedly toned it down, but the damage is done. Her faith seems to be less a moral compass and more a decorative shield for propaganda.

Flooding the Zone with Lies

Leavitt’s briefings are part of a broader strategy: flood the zone with so much disinformation that the public just gives up on the truth. One moment Trump says a person is a criminal; the next, they’re a hero. Contradictions pile up until the only thing that remains is partisan loyalty. The endgame isn’t persuasion—it’s confusion. Once people don’t know what to believe, they’ll believe whatever they want to.

Bonus Round: Bannon’s Bonkers Third Term Plan

Just when you think the madness can’t go any deeper, Steve Bannon enters the chat, boasting that Trump will serve a third term. He’s got “five or six” legal loopholes—none of which exist, by the way—to make it happen. Of course, it’s not just unconstitutional; it’s authoritarian delusion. But it reflects the larger mood: the rules don’t matter anymore. Power is the only principle.